The beginning

I didn’t just wake up one day and decide that I wanted to start publicizing my current affliction. This blog is actually the illegitimate love-child of my recent insanity.

You see I met cute cafe boy 6 months ago at a friend’s going away. We flirted (well I think we did, as proven by previous posts, I get pretty confused about what qualifies as flirting, so I might just have mocked him), one of my friends sleazily hooked up with one of his friends, much alcohol was consumed and bad karaoke (no such thing) occurred. But! I was unable to seal the deal (sleazy or otherwise) with cute cafe boy.

I didn’t think too much of it at the time as I had some other shite going down. But as the months of the Drought passed by and as I felt my ovaries shrivel and prune, I developed a little bit of a circumstantial crush on this boy – you know, he’s just there. At his cafe. Making coffee and other things and having awkward conversations with me. SO essentially HE IS MY ONE TRUE LOVE.

Anyway, I’ve vaguely considered doing the adult thing and asking him out but this would require a level of maturity that I just don’t have/will never have. So thus I just see him every so often and have awkward conversations (one even involved me accidentally knocking over the tip jar…I AM SO COOL IT HURTS) except for the occasional stalking sesh on facebook. Now don’t deny you haven’t been there, whether it’s just a casual stalking session when you’re just vaguely interested in the person involved, or a more intense criminal stalking session which involves looking at all 263 photos, wall posts, notes, graffiti applications, groups, bank details etc. For quite a long time, I held onto my pride and only casually stalked cafe boy but then something tipped me towards the criminal.

average female response to boys in bands

I had a dream. It was tres sensual and involved the cute cafe boy. Let me just say: the awkwardness in our cafe interactions was certainly not present in the bedroom!!! LOLZ. Anyway, I woke up and was inspired to take my stalking to the next level. I discovered a great many things, well mostly that he’s in a band…and that he’s the lead singer. The excitement from my dream quickly evaporated in the face of the fact that as a rock star he must have dozens of ladies throwing themselves at him on a daily basis (that happens right?) and suddenly I felt, sadly, that our love was dead. OR WAS IT? I found the band’s myspace page and listened to a track and suddenly the light and love of my life had returned…they were really really shit. Who would throw themselves at a lead singer of a shitty band? NO ONE EXCEPT ME. WINNNNER.

It was back on man. I saw that his band were playing a few days later, playing support for ONE OF MY FRIEND’S BANDS (cause like I’m really cool and all my friends are in bands), it was FATE. So essentially I could run into him there and be all: “What are you doing here? Oh you’re in a band! NO WAY, I HAD NO IDEA. WHAT A SHOCK. Oh I’m just here to see my friend’s band cause I’M SUPER COOL.” I don’t understand why I’m single with this type of gold at my fingertips.

Unfortch there’s nothing more to be said about this episode, I dragged my friends along to the gig, I spoke to him awkwardly. THE END. But the point is, the insanity that got me to the gig inspired me to write this blog. Yay! Or yay? Or yay?!?!

Also the band were actually quite good – but who the fuck cares anyway? I didn’t get any action.